Take care of you​

RIP Kate Spade.

A kickass designer and businesswoman has committed suicide, and this stirs me. I can only imagine this will probably be the most painful thing that will ever happen to Kate Spade’s family.

It is just over two years since I lost a dear friend this way. She was caring, talented, and successful. She had just turned 40, and no one saw it coming. I will never forget getting that call as I was getting ready for work. Since I will never have the opportunity to talk through this with her, all I am left with is unanswerable questions and personal assumptions.

How does this happen?

The thought that someone is in so much pain, brave enough to take their own life, yet can’t speak to those closest to them to let them know how they feel.

Why can’t we ask for help?

I feel fortunate that I have never been to this darkest place, but I am acutely aware that the pain in the world and in our personal lives are powerful and should not and cannot be ignored.

I have been that girl. Professionally bullied and abused, silenced and broken.

I disappeared from people closest to me; I simply woke up, went to work and slept the moment I got home. After three years, I took time off, tried to reconnect with things that were important, but it didn’t work, I was different. I always used to see the good in the world, but now, for the first time in my life, I was wearing a pair of glasses that didn’t enable me to see that way. They were opaque with sadness, and I couldn’t see any light.

I pushed through, put on a smile, got a puppy and moved on. But, I was broken, shattered into a thousand pieces. This was not a job for a handyman with superglue, this was for the finest in the biz of restoration. I found a professional to talk to, and I am here today, raw, open and mindful that each day I must take care of me.

I’m lucky to have made it through. Kate sadly not so, but who knows, with the right person to talk to and be heard she may still be here.

Take care of you!

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline For confidential support available 24/7 for everyone in the United States, call 1-800-273-8255.